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Week 6: Old Friends, Older Insecurities, and the People We Become Through Both

Trying something different for this edition…

This past week, I went on a guy’s trip with the dudes I grew up with. In most cases, I’ve been friends with these men for 35 years or more, basically my entire conscious life.

We disc golfed, we swam, we sat on the beach contemplating our reasons for being. We ate like kings but lacked in sleep. We laughed until it hurt and shared moments of levity that only men who have known each for decades can do.

And for a few days, I was transported to another time.

A time before I acquired all those labels we tend to gather as adults.

I wasn’t trying to impress anyone, or show how smart or capable or useful I was.

I didn’t worry about work, career, or this month’s quota. I didn’t once look at my retirement accounts and calculate my progress towards freedom. I didn’t even work on the fun projects. I didn’t even think about running.

I took a break from grinding and just let things flow.

And in a way, I went back to that awkward person growing up who stuttered and wanted to be one of the cool kids.

Going back to familiar places when you’re totally different is odd. You’re comfortable and yet can’t stop looking over your shoulder. You’re among things you’ve always known yet feel isolated.

As it came to a close, I was immensely thankful for another opportunity to do this. We’re guaranteed nothing in life, and it’s not lost on me that there will come a year when we’ll be toasting the memory of one of us.

On Sunday night, when I made that sad return trip home after a good vacation, I was ready to get back to it. Although exhausted from too much sun and too little sleep, I felt strangely recharged from the weekend.

I missed my wife and kids like crazy, but got a welcome respite from the routine.

In the end it wasn’t just the trip I wanted to have with friends, it was the trip I needed to have. I’d become wrapped up in my day-to-day and needed some grounding. And it delivered.

Good trips are meant to take us from our regular patterns. They allow us to get outside our heads, our emotions, and our daily stresses. They allow for perspective, for appreciation, and for pointing out places where we need more effort and energy.

And I’m ready to get back in the arena for it. Ready to face down my fears, insecurities, and imposter syndrome.

Once more into the breach indeed.

Live triumphantly. See you next week.