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Week 19: Don’t Tell Them You’re Cool. Show Them.
Friday marks the third anniversary of my father’s passing.
Last week I wrote about how his death galvanized me and reminded me that time is finite, and we are guaranteed nothing.
Writing about that was cathartic in many ways. It reminded me of what was important, of the many things to be thankful for, and the many things to look forward to.
Leadership
It’s yearly review time!
As I wrote my self-evaluation, I found myself getting angrier and angrier. I also found myself feeling prouder of the year that was. All the while however, it made me think that I shouldn’t even have to write this out.
And it made me think of something that happened 20 years ago on Spring Break.
I was driving a pontoon party boat loaded up with 25 friends when a Fraternity House all-star said something I’ll never forget.
He was talking about fraternity pledges at the time, but he said “Don’t tell people you’re cool. Show them.”
Holy shit.
And 20 years later, while filling out my review last week, I kept thinking of how I shouldn’t have to tell them I’m cool.
They should know right? Right?
Hmmm…
Seems like there’s something I’ll need to work on for next year.
Telling my own story better.
Lolz.
Couch to Ultramarathon
After months of progress in so many ways, I’d come crashing to a halt and it bothered me greatly.
The demands of work seem more pronounced. Writing seemed like more of a slog. Running progression seemingly peaked.
Even my attitude seemed to darken.
Until I realized the reason.
Plateaus.
We reach them from time to time. Our skills and abilities improve to a certain point, then we level off. After periods of rapid improvement, however, these plateaus can feel like a real bummer.
But it should give us encouragement. It means we’ve hit a milestone of sorts. Our bodies, minds, and brains are reorganizing themselves to be smarter, faster, stronger and more efficient.
Plateaus are the most frustrating part of the building phase.
But we should regard them as sacred ground.
As it gives us a chance to pause, reflect, and recalibrate our goals even higher.
The old adage always rings true. Set better goals, get better life.
Philosophical Dad Stuff
I got started on this whole writing thing because of a blank notebook.
After my father’s funeral, we were going through his closet and sorting out his things.
Years before on Christmas, I’d given him a nice leather-bound journal. I wrote an inscription inside, asking him to share his thoughts, experiences, and wisdom. Being a man of few words, I’d hoped that he would indulge me so I could one day get more of a grasp on his thinking.
I wanted to know what he was proud of. What he most enjoyed doing. What his fears were. How he saw shared experiences like vacations and holidays.
I wanted to know him. Beyond “just” Dad.
That day when going through his things, I came across that journal.
I was paralyzed with anticipation as I picked it up with trembling hands and opened the pages.
Blank.
Completely blank, save for the inscription I’d written years ago.
Something changed in me that day.
I was no longer afraid of sharing my thoughts with the world. Or criticism. Or looking silly. Or rejection.
I resolved to finally start putting in the work instead of looking for the shortcut, because the truth is the shortcut is a lie.
I forgave myself of my faults, my mistakes, and the transgressions of the past. I leaned into what I was actually good at instead of what I wanted people to believe I was good at.
And I started working on the things that truly inspired me instead of spending my time trying to convince the world I already did.
Once I stopped avoiding the hard questions of our mortality and temporal nature of our time here, I stopped fearing the final destination. Thinking deeply on themes of legacy and death got me to start living in the way I always knew I should.
We live in extraordinary times in human history.
If you want to do something; all you have to do is do it.
So stop waiting.
And do it.
Live triumphantly. See you next week.