Don’t Like It? Get Better.

Week 11: Seasons of Change, Turning “Shoulds” into “Musts” & Defeating the Lazy Ass Inside Us All

My wife is in France this week, where there’s apparently a bedbug outbreak, so that’s two things I’ve got going for me already.

Otherwise, Fall is in full swing in Ohio. Leaves are changing, the weather is cooling, and pumpkin-spice everything is here.

One thing I’ll say about the increased running is that I’m spending much more time in nature. As such, I haven’t just occasionally noticed the changing colors of the leaves; I’ve watched them change daily. I feel more in tune with the land and the season.

And while I’ve always loved being outside, I’ve never experienced it this way, which spurs good thinking while running the miles away.

Philosophical Dad Stuff

Every night since last holiday season, my youngest son has demanded “Jingle Bells” as his goodnight song.

Now more than 10 months later, at least we’re coming up on the appropriate season again. Most night he sits on my lap, snuggles into my shoulder, and closes his eyes.

But sometimes he sings along, which turns into a giggle-fest. Since he doesn’t know the words, he kind of makes it up as he goes along, which makes me laugh. My laughing gets him giggling, and pretty soon there are no songs being sung, just peals of laughter.

In those moments, I forget about the edges that get rougher when my wife is traveling. I forget about the dishes in the sink (sorry honey), the lunchboxes still in the car, and the unraked leaves. I forget about the email I still have to send for work, and the to-do list that still needs updated for tomorrow.

I forget about it all.

And am simply present and laughing about Jingle Bells with my baby boy.

I used to be so impatient about everything. I couldn’t wait to get to the next thing. The better thing.

But sitting there with that little human on my lap, I can’t imagine anywhere else in the world I’d rather be.

I say it often; these times go by quickly in our lives. Soak it in.

Leadership

I used to have a giant list of things I thought I “should” be doing.

There was nothing special about this list. It full of normal adult problems, except for one.

I “should” exercise more. I “should” work harder. I “should” spend more time with my family. I “should” quit drinking.

I should, I should, I should.

The main issue with this thinking is that humans aren’t built that way. By and large, we don’t do the things we should do, even when we know it’s better for us.

What changes people is when we turn those things we SHOULD do into the things we MUST do.

That’s when our lives change.

Every week I come up here and try to talk leadership. This usually takes the form of leading others, naturally.

But sometimes it’s good to remind ourselves that self-leadership is a crucial aspect of influence and management.

Turn those “shoulds” into “musts”.

You already know which one needs to come first.

So do it.

Couch to Ultramarathon

It’s now 13 weeks until “prove-it” time.

All the expected stuff is trending in the right direction. Mileage is trending up. Mile times are trending down.

Injuries are nil, and pains and aches have been minimal and manageable so far.

Even with all the positive benefits, I’m finding that my mind is my worst enemy. Because even though I’m approaching a level of fitness I haven’t know since my undergraduate days, my mind cooks up insane reasons to quit.

For example, on Tuesday of last week I was not feeling it. It was raining, I had things to do (or so I told myself), and I was staring down a 16-mile run on Saturday. While running through the trails, I noticed the golfers on the adjacent course packing it up and heading inside.

My mind started making shit up.

It started telling me that I should be like the golfers. I should turn around and go home. This one run wasn’t that important. I could do it later. Probably. Maybe.

The “me” from a few months ago might have listened to that voice.

But not now.

Not this upgraded version of myself.

When the negativity started creeping in, I started running harder. As a result, I started gaining more and more confidence with each and every step I took.

I charged up the hills that day in the rain, letting out a guttural scream when I crested the top of the biggest one.

When I got home, the data said it was my fastest and hilliest run yet.

My mind trying to make me quit had ended up making me mad instead. The right kind of mad. The kind that makes us do something about it.

“He who loves, flies, runs, and rejoices; he is free and nothing holds him back.” -Henri Matisse

We are free the moment we wish to be.

Live triumphantly. See you next week.