I got a message from an old friend last week asking a question.
First off, thank you old friend for both reading and for reaching out. The question reminded me of something I struggled with when I was younger, as from the time I could talk until about eighth grade, I stuttered horribly.
In elementary school, nobody really cares.
Once you hit middle school, that puts a huge target on your back. Not to mention, I dressed in monocolor sweatsuits with “Save the Whales” or “Save the Wolves” ironed onto the fronts.
Shoutout Mom. Those kids didn’t get it, the purple sweatsuits were dope.
Needless to say however, I wasn’t one of the cool kids.
Between stuttering and trying to dress as inauspiciously as possible, it could be said that I lacked confidence.
The thing was, I felt like I had things to say, to contribute, and to add to discussions. I felt like I could make people laugh, put people at ease, and be a leader. As an avid reader, I knew I had the words.
The problem was my danged mouth just couldn’t get them out right sometimes.
My friends that I grew up with never wavered in their support.
Shoutout lifelong friends. You guys are awesome.
But I was frustrated. In times of change in our young lives, why wasn’t I getting the changes I was seeking? Why couldn’t I overcome stuttering and gain the invaluable confidence I needed to become more like the person I wanted to be?
One night in 7th grade, I took a long walk with my best amigo. We walked for hours. We talked of life. Of our triumphs, our frustrations, what we felt was holding us back.
By the end of the walk, we’d made a pact to become more like the version of ourselves we knew we could be.
A few weeks later, the school drama club put out a call for help. They were putting on a circus production and needed someone to play the “World’s Tallest Man”. The issue was they couldn’t find anyone who could walk on stilts.
Everyone in the world has talents. Some become apparent early on, some we stumble into later. Some become careers, some merely useful hobbies. And many probably lie dormant within us, just waiting to be discovered.
My hidden talent is stilts. Ain’t that some shit.
Of all the things in the world, it had to be stilts.
When I was really young, my dad built a pair of stilts for me. Without much prompting I got really good at stilts, walking up and down stairs, jumping up and down, and “jogging” through the woods.
So it goes.
Either way, I signed for tryouts. And since I was the only one who could actually walk on stilts, I got the part.
Sometimes it’s good to run unopposed I guess.
I had an absolute blast doing the play, and it turned out to be a pivotal time in my young adult life. While there were no speaking parts, being in front of a crowd on stilts was a amazing for my confidence.
A few months later, the school did a production of Macbeth. This time they needed a trumpeter.
You can probably guess where this is going.
Again, no speaking parts, but it again was another massive confidence boost on top of it being a great time.
Next I read bible verses in church during Boy Scouts Service Day. I didn’t read it perfectly fluently, but I did pretty well, and it was another booster.
Then I tried out for a musical in high school and got the third leading male part in Camelot (Sir Dinadan, there’s a reason you probably haven’t heard of the small role). This involved both speaking, singing and dancing on stage.
A few months later I attended the National Youth Leadership Forum on National Security in Washington, DC where I would run for President.
And win.
Each stepping stone along the way gave me more of that precious thing we all need to become our best selves: confidence.
But it was more than that. That confidence led to being able to speak my mind, to make people laugh, to make more friends, to be a better friend, to ask the pretty girl out, to handle rejection when it didn’t go my way, and to keep trying new things that scared me.
There’s open road out there for all of us, if we choose to seek it and take it.
And if we stay the course, stay present and stay engaged, then our small steps become giant leaps forward, and then we can really show people who we are and what we’re about.
Tiny acorns become mighty oaks.
“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.” -Eleanor Roosevelt
Live triumphantly. See you next week.
Hi Danny, thanks. I needed that.
Jamey
Just excellent!