Don't Like It? Get Better.
Week 53: Set Better Goals, Get Better Life
Leadership
I’ve been remiss to write about leadership recently.
Some reasons have been a leadership transition at work, ongoing leadership concerns on my own team, and being distracted by the goings on outside of the office.
They are all excuses. And I hate excuses.
I try to write about things that are poignant, interesting, funny, or thought-provoking. When things aren’t checking those boxes, I won’t bore you with inane details.
Also, I’m a slow thinker.
My mind works through things slowly sometimes. It takes time for things to percolate.
As such, it’s difficult for me to write instant reactions to things, because my true thoughts and feelings take time to clarify.
So here we are. Change is in the air and challenges abound. But who to talk to about these things? Part of the issue is my mentor network has been a bit shaken up by external events. Where to go from here?
I often hear that leadership can be lonely, and I largely agree.
When I was younger, I wanted to stand out without sticking my neck out.
I now realize these things are exclusive of the other.
Leadership, whether it be at work, at home, or elsewhere in our lives; is all about sticking your neck out. Taking on the risk of failure (and the benefits of success) and being accountable whether you win or lose.
By nature, it is lonely. Because too many are content to stay in safe harbors.
When we go after things we want, things that other people also want, we run the risk of not getting it. We run the risk of failure, of looking foolish and silly; of being found wanting.
But here’s the thing, not going for what we want entails even more risk.
For that runs the risk of squandering our lives.
Couch to Ultramarathon…and Beyond
We are now 9 days away from a 100km race.
Getting down to single digit days is bringing a whole new level of anxiety.
Because tapering sucks. You’ve already put in the work, but you have to rest and recover before a monumental effort.
You start feeling like you didn’t do enough. You start feeling like maybe I shouldn’t have curtailed that one day on the track. Maybe I should have eaten better, slept better, stretched better.
A million things could have been better.
And that’s what sucks about not knowing whether we’ve done enough. Because we won’t find out if it IS enough until the final hour when everything is on the line.
But here is what I do know.
I’ve transformed my life, and mostly positively.
There are trade-offs with everything, but this one has been mostly beneficial. My health is better now than at any point in the last 15 years, easily. I’m in tremendous shape.
Extreme cold, heat, humidity, being tired, and being on my feet all day no longer bother me. They are among my new friends.
My perspective has shifted in odd ways.
I worried that training for these distances would lead me to devalue stories of those who are beginning their own journeys, getting in shape, or simply not running as far.
But the opposite happened. I became a cheerleader and supporter.
I didn’t develop disdain for half marathoners or the couch-to-5k runner. I developed immense appreciation and respect for them instead. I appreciated their own struggles, training, and discipline.
And I meant it.
Ultrarunning has brought me many physical benefits, but the mental and emotional benefits far outweigh them.
I’ve become more patient, more empathetic, and even kinder. Kinder to myself, and kinder to others.
I didn’t have that on my Bingo card when I started this.
And it brings to mind a Henry David Thoreau quote like never before: “What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as who you become by achieving your goals.”
Set better goals, get better life.
Live triumphantly. See you next week.