Don't Like It? Get Better.
Week 4: Breaking Bread, Travel Troubles & the Importance of Finding the "Others"
Welcome back!
One thing I’ll say about regular writing is the clarity and focus it brings is nothing short of astounding.
Aside from the cognitive benefits of organizing your thoughts, I believe this largely stems from actually taking the time to think in the first place, something we don’t do much of these days. We’re too busy to sit down and put things down on paper; with that Siren’s Song of TikTok and YouTube usually only an arm’s length away in case things get boring for more than 30 seconds.
As a result, I’m becoming more and more convinced that the ability to focus is a superpower, and is a path to freedom if we can direct it.
Leadership
It goes without saying, but sharing meals with people is one of the quickest ways to know them. This past week, I had the opportunity to travel to Albany, New York for a team outing. What’s probably normal in this post-pandemic world is the fact that I’ve only ever met one other person I worked with there.
We had burgers the night I arrived, then enjoyed a day at the races in Saratoga the following day. While I speak with some folks almost every day on Teams, it’s obviously not the same as shooting the breeze in person, over catered lunch while watching horse races, the way nature intended I’m sure.
As I drove back to the airport blissfully unaware of the travel issues about the derail me, I was grateful. It felt great to connect with people I’d worked with for years in some cases.
And I believe in them even more than I already did.
Philosophical Dad Stuff
My father-in-law was a hero this past week. He watched the kids and dog so I could go on that work trip while my wife was also out-of-town on business. After a glorious day at the races, I dropped off the rental car with a tight connection in DC. All seemed good to go until we stopped on the runway just before takeoff, a VIP needed the airspace above Washington, so no flights were coming in.
I happened to be reading Eat & Run by Scott Jurek on that flight, which highlighted accepting thing we can’t change and saving our energy for what we can change. Timely.
As I sprinted for the gate in DC, I noted how a few months ago, I would have struggled running like that. It kind of felt good to stretch my legs in a way.
It was all for nought however, as I came to a closed gate door with the plane yet to push back. So close and yet so far. The attendant said I’d missed it by 3 minutes.
There was a flight leaving for Columbus at that moment however so I was able to avoid staying in an airport hotel at least. After landing in Columbus, it was one nice long Uber ride to the Dayton airport to get the car, then to Popsy’s house to get the kids.
As I hugged my precious boys, all angst about the trip immediately faded.
It was shortly after midnight when I put them back to sleep in their own beds and sang them Amazing Grace as I always do. Then my oldest, on the verge of dreamland, opens his eyes and says, “Daddy you forgot my whale night light.”
Home sweet home indeed.
Couch to Ultra-Marathon
I attended an ultrarunning seminar with a colleague this past week. And since my wife was out of town, I got a babysitter to do it.
That’s right.
I got a babysitter so I could go run.
We are in deep already folks. And I have a funny feeling it won’t be the last time this ever happens.
Either way, it was great to hear from people who’d done races of these distances before. I mean how else would you learn that putting salt packets into Coca-Cola could potentially save your life someday? And in a larger sense, it was good to be among like-minded people.
We were all there because we were searching for something, grasping for it. Willing to endure discomfort and pain for it even. And in some cases, we don’t even know what that is or how to articulate it.
In the world of Instagram, Twitter (X?), and LinkedIn influencers, aren’t we supposed to have it all figured out? Isn’t that the path we’re supposed to be on? Don’t we know that CONFIDENCE IS EVERYTHING AND FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT MOTHER*******!!?!?
No. With this group, not having the answers is okay; expected even. It’s why we showed up.
Because the answers are out there.
In an hour of running and chatting, my eyes were opened.
As Kerouac would say, I found “The Others”.
And it’s clear I underestimated how much of a learning experience this was going to be.
We’ve been ending with quotes, so here’s one that fits the theme this week. It’s a favorite of mine by Zig Ziglar.
“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as who you become by achieving your goals.”
Right on dude.
Live triumphantly. See you next week.